Haven't written in a while because haven't had anything to say. It's simply the same old shit, the same waiting game, the same insurance company bull. My head hurts so much that I'm losing the ability to form sentences aloud, because finding the right word is like sludging through a bowl of oatmeal looking for one single oat, if the bowl was the size of a swimming pool. I'm fuzzy and foggy all the time now and I never seem to break through it anymore. Thinking of anything more complicated that "I should get up and get some water" or "I haven't eaten yet today" isn't worth it.

The physical head pain is so terribly unpredictable. Yesterday morning, my head felt like a small boat on the edge of an infinite whirpool, swirling around and around uncontrollably while being dragged down. Last night, it felt more like Andre the Giant had one of his immense hands at the back of my head, thumb behind one ear and forefinger behind the other, and was squeezing with the intent to pop my head open. Today, it's more like explosions or fireworks all along the afflicted nerves.

Mental illness medications work wonders when you're using the correct ones. But they can only help so much. And I'm on the way down because I can't see an end.