An Introduction

I've been thinking about starting a blog to detail what's going on in my life, but it kept escaping me - too much to do, my condition would temporarily improve and I wouldn't see the need, too sick - but now I realise that I need to do this. The illnesses and pain happening in my life aren't common and there isn't much research on them, except what arises accidentally. Any voice that can be added to this story and this condition helps. And if my diagnoses help others find solace or lead them in the right direction, well, then maybe something positive may come from my experiences.

The short version of me: I'm Sabrina, I'm 27, and I live in North Carolina. I live with my wonderful husband Patrick, a dog (Worf), and a cat (Keenser). I have a wonderful, close-knit family and the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree in subjects I love. On the surface, my life seems as normal as anyone else's. Underneath, however, I'm so ill that my life is being torn to shreds, and there's nothing anyone has been able to do about it. I've been forced onto the sidelines of my own existence, watching as friends celebrate milestones and achievements while I can barely hold on for dear life. Every time I thought I was making progress and finally on my way to health, it all fell apart again.

So, for the next few days, I'll do my best to chronicle the past few years, in terms of both the physical / mental symptoms and all the doctor's visits / tests / exams / dead ends I've gone through trying to find an answer.

That implies that I know what's wrong. I don't really. No-one does. My health - my life - have turned into a labyrinth, but the monster is forever changing form and the exit is constantly moving. I like to think that there's an end to this, but I haven't been able to see it for an awfully long time. It's hard to see much of any future when all you can see is masked by exploding stars and spirals of pain when you try to move more than turning over in bed.